Five(5) Steps to Being a douche in L4D:
1. Be productive in the lobby!
While you're waiting for people to join the lobby, always remember to spam "START THE MOTHERF***ING GAME ALREADY YOU DUMBASS"
2. Always take the shotgun and leave your healthpack behind.
Because uzis and healthpacks are for pussies. Real men spam melee in corners.
3. Move around erractically.
This makes it more likely for your teamates to hit you. When they do that, throw a tantrum and censure them for being bad teammates. "YO WTF WAS THAT SHIT MAN? I'M GONNA BUST A CAP IN YO ASS THE NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT. HELL, WHY TAKE THAT RISK? I'M GONNA DO DAT NOW, BITCH!" Then, teamkill.
4. You are numero uno.
Nobody else is worth your time, but the second you go down, shout like crazy and then blame your teammates for not helping your earlier. If necessary, repeat the second part of step 3.
5. Infected team is the best team.
Kill off your teammates so you can play infected again quicker.
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This is NOT a recommended form of playing Left4Dead at LAN or Online, and if ANYONE acts this way, they shall be kicked.. literately or ingame you may ask?... BOTH!